No Way Miss USA

So, in the year 2009, why is it even acceptable to parade young women around in an extra-fancy dog show on television? Right?

Anyway, in case anyone didn't see this, Miss California weighed in on the gay marriage debate during the Miss America pageant. As the various Misses always seem to do, Miss Golden State began her answer by indicating her own fundamental misunderstanding of the way the world works: she says that she is happy to live in a country where people can choose gay marriage or "opposite marriage." So either Miss California lives in Vermont or Miss California is technically quite stupid.

She follows up that gem with the assertion that, "In my country, in my family" marriage is between a man and a woman. No disrespect obviously, that's just the way we do things in my country/family.

Miss California is from San Diego. And this is what happens when you let people from San Diego out in public. I've said it for years, folks: Fresno-by-the-Sea.

One other thing: the person who asked the question was Perez Hilton. Props go to the guy for forcing a salient and important question onto the Annual Vapid Bullshit Parade, but honestly I had no idea he actually counted as a TV-worthy celebrity. I thought he was a mid-level Internet celebrity, somewhere between the Goatse guy (don't worry, no photo) and the Obama Girl. You know, way down in the lower echelons of fame, next to Malt-o-Meal in the cereal aisle.

So here's an important question about the United States circa 2009: how do we feel about Perez Hilton being a national pop culture figure? Keep in mind that this man is notable for only one reason - his website posts photos of drunk celebrities who have accidentally flashed their vaginas on the way out of the limo.



Apparently Perez Hilton later called Ms. Killer Cali a "bitch," and here she responds on MSNBC. The whole thing has the catty, gossipy feel of late high-school. Miss California is praying for Perez Hilton, Perez Hilton unapologizes to Miss California about calling her a bitch, only to up the ante by dropping a c-bomb on her startled ass. Then, Miss California is all like, "Well I have 4,000 friend requests on Facebook!" I am not joking. We later learn that an authority figure in the form of some higher-up at the Miss USA Ranch steps in and chastises Miss Blue Eyeshadow for being, you know, a prejudiced ass.



It bears mentioning that Miss Meth-Hub of Southern California looks like a freeze-dried weirdo throughout both clips.

.

David Simon of The Wire on print journalism

David Simon was on Bill Moyers for an entire hour last week. I was listening to the podcast of it this morning while doing some tidying up around the house. I've heard David Simon twice before on NPR, and these interviews convinced me to check out The Wire after everyone told me "it's the perfect show for you" for two years. The man is smart - I'm not sure how the popular culture shitfunnel turned out someone quite this good. Maybe the popularity of serialized TV on HBO in the last decade incrementally improved the format to the point where it could accomodate such an intellect? Just a guess, I know nothing of these things.

But check out what he had to say on Moyers about the fate of print journalism. I think his perspective as a former journalist really rounds out the conventional wisdom, particularly in noting the pre-Internet shortcomings of the major newspapers' approach.

And this is not all the Internet . . . the general tone in journalism right now is that of martyrology: "We were doing our job making the world safe for democracy and all of the sudden terra firma shifted, new technology, who knew that the Internet was going to overwhelm us?"

I would buy that if I wasn't in journalism for the years that immediately preceeded the Internet. Because I took the third buyout from the Baltimore Sun. I was about reporter number 80 or 90 who left - in 1995, long before the Internet had its impact . . . . Those buyouts happened when the Baltimore Sun was earning 37% profits. We now know this because it's in bankruptcy and the books are open. Thirty-seven percent profits, and all that R&D money that was supposed to go into making newspapers more essential, more viable, more able to explain the complexities of the world, it went to shareholders in the Tribune Company, or the LA Times-Mirror Company before that.

And ultimately when the Internet did hit, they had an inferior product that was not essential enough that they could charge online for it. I mean, the guys who were running newspapers for the last 20 or 30 years have to be singular in the manner in which they destroyed their own industry. I mean, it's even more profound than Detroit making Chevy Vegas and Pacers and Gremlins and believing that no self-respecting American would buy a Japanese car in 1973. It's analagous up to a point, but it's not analagous in that a Nissan is a pretty good car and a Toyota is a pretty good car. The Internet, while it's great for commentary and froth, doesn't do much first generation reporting at all . . . The economic model doesn’t sustain that kind of reporting.

And to lose to that . . . they had contempt for their own product, these people, I mean how do you give it away for free? Listen, for twenty years . . . the ads were the God. And then all of a sudden the ads weren’t there and the copy they’d had contempt for, they’d actually marginalized themselves by the time the Internet had its way.

Here's an interesting series on the future of urban journalism, from a urban problems blog called Where: "Notes on the Future of Urban Journalism," Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

Anyway, Jessica and I are making our way through the entire The Wire series, courtesy of Netflix. We're in the first third of Season 2, so if anyone wants to coordinate watching it with us, head on down to the 730.

.

Stakes Is Weird

Went to Fresno this past weekend to visit the family. Sold a million CD's I never listen to anymore, and armed with a princely sum in store credit, I went on an Elton John binge. I also bought the Dead Kennedys Frankenchrist album because I have not heard "MTV Get Off the Air" since I was a fifteen year-old of much smaller physical frame and much larger optical frames. Frankenchrist is still really good and the intro to "Soup Is Good Food" still sounds weird and great. And as every last person in this country loses his/her job and finds no safety net, the words are disappointingly relevant again. It's officially the '80's, but worse. We're dying again folks.

But on to more important things. Brother-in-law Matt stumbled across something strange at the used record store: an LFO record. You know, "I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch." The Lyte Funky Ones. Those guys.

Or rather, these guys:


They had another album, post-Abercrombie & Fitch. Three high-profile cameos. Sit down for this. The following all actually did verses on an LFO album.

De La Soul

Kelis, "the loud screaming chick with the hair."

And the ever-scary M.O.P. Huh? (This means they went into the studio with LFO right around they went into the studio with Pharaohe Monche for Internal Affairs. Simon says think about it.)


The weirdness crown obviously goes to the MOP appearance, but these are all sufficiently horrifying to ruin your day one by one. I remember this period of time well, from about 1997 to 2002, where everything in the entire world went insane. Does it surprise anyone that a country that could produce such an unsettling musical collaboration would be sending innocent men to Syria to be tortured indefinitely within a year?

P.S. I just put tags on this post, and it earns six: photos, hilarious, politics, celebrities, hippy, music. This is probably two or three more tags than any other post I've done, and I think only a musical-collaborative-nightmare of this scale could cast such a wide net.

P.P.S. I just reread this post and I think only Eric will be even remotely interested, and he's probably not aware that I'm still updating this here weblog. Apologies, but it's already done.

.

A Charlie Horse, Of Course

Unrelated: Pulled up YouTube to satiate a minor Leonard Cohen fixation . . . does anyone have strong feelings one way or the other about Jeff Buckley's version of "Hallelujah?"

.

This Totally Blew My Mind

Found out last week that this here lady was on Wild 'n' Crazy Kids, Pensacola. Think about that. Then think about all the Saturday afternoons you wasted in 1994 watching Wild 'n' Crazy Kids.

In coincidences of interest only to people who once lived in Uptown in Chicago: This guy right here knows Frankie J. Frankie J of "This is the FBI - we're here to close down your comedy club because you're using it as a front to traffic cocaine" fame.