No Way Miss USA

So, in the year 2009, why is it even acceptable to parade young women around in an extra-fancy dog show on television? Right?

Anyway, in case anyone didn't see this, Miss California weighed in on the gay marriage debate during the Miss America pageant. As the various Misses always seem to do, Miss Golden State began her answer by indicating her own fundamental misunderstanding of the way the world works: she says that she is happy to live in a country where people can choose gay marriage or "opposite marriage." So either Miss California lives in Vermont or Miss California is technically quite stupid.

She follows up that gem with the assertion that, "In my country, in my family" marriage is between a man and a woman. No disrespect obviously, that's just the way we do things in my country/family.

Miss California is from San Diego. And this is what happens when you let people from San Diego out in public. I've said it for years, folks: Fresno-by-the-Sea.

One other thing: the person who asked the question was Perez Hilton. Props go to the guy for forcing a salient and important question onto the Annual Vapid Bullshit Parade, but honestly I had no idea he actually counted as a TV-worthy celebrity. I thought he was a mid-level Internet celebrity, somewhere between the Goatse guy (don't worry, no photo) and the Obama Girl. You know, way down in the lower echelons of fame, next to Malt-o-Meal in the cereal aisle.

So here's an important question about the United States circa 2009: how do we feel about Perez Hilton being a national pop culture figure? Keep in mind that this man is notable for only one reason - his website posts photos of drunk celebrities who have accidentally flashed their vaginas on the way out of the limo.



Apparently Perez Hilton later called Ms. Killer Cali a "bitch," and here she responds on MSNBC. The whole thing has the catty, gossipy feel of late high-school. Miss California is praying for Perez Hilton, Perez Hilton unapologizes to Miss California about calling her a bitch, only to up the ante by dropping a c-bomb on her startled ass. Then, Miss California is all like, "Well I have 4,000 friend requests on Facebook!" I am not joking. We later learn that an authority figure in the form of some higher-up at the Miss USA Ranch steps in and chastises Miss Blue Eyeshadow for being, you know, a prejudiced ass.



It bears mentioning that Miss Meth-Hub of Southern California looks like a freeze-dried weirdo throughout both clips.

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