got my mind made up

I'm applying for a job tonight, I've applied for so many jobs that I realize this is in itself my basic vocation in life these days. It's hard to figure out an artful but not redundant way to say that you shower every day and people like you and you know how to type several dozen words a minute, especially when this is all I would want to know about myself: "I like David Bowie and half a dozen Bad Brains songs, and pictures of 2Pac wearing awkward leather outfits. The older I get the more I hate the zoo. I am fanatical about maintaining proper grammar when confronted by obscure plurals such as 'data' and 'criteria'."

Based on those things, I would hire me. But no one else would. So this is why I will never be in charge of hiring anyone for anything, and more importantly for the present, why no one will hire me.


.